.p.e.a.c.e.

=> .Thursday, November 27, 2008.

Why??

19th day

I just want to share this with all my friends out there. Thanks for all your care and concern. I really appreciate it alot. I have move on with my life. However, she have not. She has been forcing me to patch back . I told her that love can't be force however she is ignoring my advice. I wan her to know. It doesn't really need to have faults than we could break off. If you really think that there is a need than you can put all the blame on me. Really. I really wish we can move on. If you were to ask me are we still friends? I would gladly say yes we are still friend. I hope you will understand one day. We dunno the future. Yes you are right. But I know what I wan now. I dun wan to think way far out. Take care.

Pls stop forcing me to do thing which i do not like to do...

Pls stop all this and carry on with your life..

Pls stop behaving in such a manner which may let me hate you..

I'm hoping that my next blog will be a happy one instead of all this complains..

I have move on with my life and I'm very happy wih my current life..

I have totally changed..

Take care....

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

11:30 AM

=> .Sunday, November 16, 2008.

Lets move on ok~

8th day

Why must you keep forcing me? I want to move on, I'm sorry to say but i'm really enjoying my life now. We can still be friend. Stop doing things that I hate to see . I dun want like I'm enjoying here and you are there hurting yourself. Break up is for out own good. Trust me! Many things once done cannot be undone, I believe that there are guys who want to be with you too. Dun waste your time and youth on me anymore. Lets part and move on ok. Right now i just wan to concentrate on my work and family.

It take time to heals. But you are not giving yourself time to get over it. Everyday you keep thinking of getting back. I know you feel that i dun know how hurt you are. But I tell you I know. But I cannot because that you hurt than i get back with you . understand~ Love talks about feelings. Many things for 3 years we still can't get to know about each other. You feel that my temper is really very bad. I'm sorry ok. Can we just move on ??

P.S : Sorry Ivy and Vivi for always asking you to help in this r/s. But i think only you two can talk to her.

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

6:33 PM

=> .Wednesday, November 12, 2008.

Lack of sleep...

4th day...
Alright first of all, Thanks Desmond , CGK , Ryan , Benedict , Kensyn , Jean and Kelvin for accompany me the whole night yesterday. Especially CGK and Kensyn who came even they had not enough sleep.

Well yesterday, the whole group of us went to labyrinth at middle road. We meet at 10pm but in the end all arrived at around 11 plus . Me , Des, Ryan and Ben shared a cab down and just nice we arrived the same time as jean and her bf. We open 2 bottle of 'Hennessy' but couldn't finished it. Think we will be going there soon as we still have 3/4 of drink there. Those are what we call friend. Whenever you need them, they will be there for you. Not like some, when they need you they look for you but vice versa when you need them they wouldn't even bother about you.~ CGK didn't sing as he say he don't like to sing infront of so many ppl. lolx. In fact me myself also just get to sing one song. Think Ben drink quite alot. Slightly more than me. haha. Advice given to me was to 'cheer up, be happy' . In facts, they are a bunch of clever ppl. I didn't even tell them what had happen and yet they guessed it totally correct. Think cuz they saw me as not my usual self and why i didn't use my phone frequently. After that we left at around 2.45am and Jean and Kelvin went home, the rest of us went on to Adam Road market to have a late supper. I had the indian mee goreng which i feel that its a pepper mee goreng as the whole food make you feel like eating the pepper all the while. SO SPICY.CGK say wanna share with me but in the end he only had one mouth. lolx. Than we chat about those horror movie and those torturing stuff. FREAK!! After that we went separate way to home and i reached home around 4.20am.

Get to slp awhile and my mum wake me up at 8am as I need to go for my medical appointment. So went to AH and reach there around 9.30am. I'm quite lucky today as the whole thing ended quite fast. The doctor just prescribe me a stronger cream for my foot and make another appointment for me on the 6th of January to see if there is any improvement before he come to a conclusion. Than wen to the pharmacy to take my medicine and met kai ling(Ken Boon Sister) there. She's working there but when she saw me , she can't even reconize me . When I go approached her she still can ask me "you are..??" Than I told her than she say why you change till like that ( Doesn't know wat she meant!!LOLX) But in the end thanks to her, she gave me a staff price as my cream doesn't cover in the 11B as it is a retail item and i got to pay myself. So thanks ya kai ling!! . After that went to maxwell road to had breakfast with my parents and grandparents. And went home sweet home after that. And that is where i am now....

Thanks for all that you had given me..

When I saw that socks you bought ..

Thanks for all your care and concern..

But maybe we are just not meant for each other..

Maybe its abit to late to found out..

But trust me, we didb't break up cuz of other girl..

I just feel that we always can't come to an agreement over things..

I dare not think of the future..

But I will wish you well..

Actually today will be the 35th month..

But since its over so lets not brood over it..

Take good care..

Be Strong..

....

I remember a type of quote people used to say

But I never really understood it 'til today

Life will only get harder from here

I think about that almost every time I shed a tear

I look back on the happy years I once had

And I wish for them to come back Oh so bad

Pressure is a big part of teenage lives today

Temptations of sex, drugs, and violence never seem to go away

You never really know which road to choose

It seems which ever way you go, your bound to lose

Happiness eventually falls on your lap

Only to look once more and see it gone in a snap

Why does it seem I can't smile like before?

As if the joyous part of me walked right out the door

I guess my feelings are personal to me and I'm too embarrassed to show 'em

One day I'll find happiness again

I just have to live my life until then

And while I'm waiting just for that

I think I'll give myself a pat on the back

'Cuz I've come this far without giving up completely

I'm trying to enjoy life, it's very difficult, believe me

I guess that's the message I'm trying to send out

To keep your head up when giving up is what your thinkin 'bout

Take life's punches right in the face

And you'll see things will come to you at there own pace

Kelvin and Desmond

Jean, Kelvin , Desmond and Ryan

Ryan and Benedict

Jean, CGK and Kensyn

Ryan, CGK and Kensyn

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

12:52 PM

=> .Tuesday, November 11, 2008.

Special Thanks..

3rd day ...

Seems like i have blogging almost everyday now, dunno why just feel like writing everything out. But this blog will be a short one. At time i really feel weird, am i able to get over it. She used to call me almost everyday. But now, my phone became silent. Am I not used to it? But I know i will be able to get over it one. Hope you will too.. I would like to thank you for all the thing we been thru. I would like to thanks Si Song and co for being a good companion throughout this few day and thanks for all your help! Lastly, I would like to give special thanks to my whole bunch of collegue in JW NPC. Thanks for all the plans to go out and cheer me on. I know its very hard to take it. I must admit. I'm sad too....... Thats all..

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

11:24 AM

=> .Monday, November 10, 2008.

Feel like thrashing everything out..

I might juz be at the lowest downturn of my life..

I might not be who i am...

I might be giving up everything..

This 2 days I have been reading letters from the past. I felt that I have really wasted many chance, I have hurt so many innocent. All this while all that i had done , was it right or wrong? Am I hurting another girl or does she really felt that I'm good to her. I found out that I lost one very impt letter. I only remember inside it wrote " Do you know what is love? Its not by saying I love you means you really love her.." This letter had been with me for so long and only now than I realise that this letter exist. I just happen to found it one day when I was re-packing my drawer. Its from one of my ex-Gf . I remember that time I broke off with her cuz of the other girl. This incident had made me felt so guilty till now. I learned. I progress. I realized once over everything will be gone in split seconds.

I once had a very good uncle. He teach me how to swim . I will always rmb he is the one who pushes me into the deep water and ask me to swim up myself but i failed and he rescue me. Teaches me how to sing . Teaches me card trick . Use to make fun of me when i was young. Use to bring me out . He doesn't have a good marriage, doesn't have a good life. Even if he's broke, during chinese new year he still make it a point to give everyone Ang Bao. It has been years since he left us. He was caught in an accident while on his way home. Cuz he has been taking on two job at once. Due to fatigue, he drove home on his bike. Could be he fell asleep while driving and went on to mount the curb and cause it to be fatal. Remember the last time was just the day before the accident when i met him. He came to my parents fruit stall, gave a massage chair to my dad as my dad had a fall. He talk to me, asking me how many pull up I can do. He say he will challenge me one day. But now.. I think i got no chance to challenge him anymore. I got many things i feel like telling him. I feel like telling him that i'm doing fine.. I'm serving my NS now.. He used to be very brave and active. He used to stand up for friends. Uncle, I'm wondering where are you? sometime i really hope you will come into my dream and tell me how you had been. I had many things which i might need your advice on. He is only 40 when he pass on. All i hope now is that you are well in heaven. We will never know what might happen tml. You might just lose someone you love , so I will treasure every moment of my life.

We are often most touched by those who show courage and strength beyond their own infirmity. And their death is not an end to that courage.When death takes someone from us, we have to say goodbye. Even if it's only within our own minds.We rarely expect tragedy, and are never really prepared for it.Saying "goodbye" is often another way of saying "I remember."

I will be strong.... I will...

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

1:08 PM

=> .Sunday, November 09, 2008.

Was It an End?

3yrs down the road. Our relationship have gone thru so many up and downs. I dunno izzit that we drag on for so long or are we really in it for so long. I used to have faith in this r/s and i also used to lost trust in it. Honestly speaking, i had never betray u nor this r/s before. So how is this road going to be like...

For minor thing, we've quarreled. Ended up minor problem became a major problem which ended up in this current situation. In my job, I used to solve and help other ppl problem and when it come to myself, i felt so helpless . Maybe we had plan so far. 3 yrs seems so near and yet so far. All that I want is just a peaceful r/s whereby we will talk when I'm working and we will be together when i had my off day. I know we had been doing that for the past few months and i really do enjoy it. Maybe I'm really not a good BF. I'm really really very tired to guess the mood of yours, whenever you are in a bad mood i will had to be careful, any small mistake make by me could just cuz you to be angry the whole day. I do had my flaws too. I know I'm lazy whereby I wun always accompany you go where you wan to go . I agree with you that i dun have a good temper too.

Since that time those thing happen(Extra large), you had change which really totally melt my heart. I found out that i had once again love you for the 2nd time. I dun mind you to blame me for always suspecting you this and that. Cuz I'm really afraid to face it again.I really wish that I can share your burden and work, but sometime i really can't help you at all. I feel that in this r/s i have been afraid of this and afraid of that. Of cuz, you had been good to me all along too. I'm very touch whenever you free you will come down to look for me and accompany me. Remember that day when I'm sleeping you hold on to my hand. That feeling, I really can't explain but you gave me a feeling that you never want to let go. I must admit here that what i did to you was wrong. But everything really do have their limit. I felt that i had reached my limit that I turn into such an evil. I'm sorry for that but i really hate to see your evil side appear too.

I wun listen to anyone advice. Cuz i know what I'm doing . Maybe I should just be brave and walk down this lonely street . Suddenly i felt so lost of words. Maybe i shall continue tml. Is this the end of everything..??

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

11:59 PM

=> .Tuesday, November 04, 2008.

Its Just another day

Days just pass on like that, for the past 3 days i have been spending my time on work and at home playing "Monster Hunter 2" . LoLx. After playing with kensyn they all at my place that night it seems that i'm quite addicted. Trying to change the armor and weapon whole day. However while at home, I have been thinking about my past, many things i just wish that i haven done, I have hurts them... ... ... .. .. .. I know we live in the present, but at time we do walk down our memory lane. I came to realise however long the night, the dawn will break. There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation. Think maybe i just think too much, i'm currently content with what i have , i'm just afraid that one day i might change or even she might change. Look, I never dare to look into the future and i always look to my past. Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion

My mum market will be opening at the 1st of December. Finally there will be income. Time to spend now for renovation and hope that we will earn back when it re-open. JIA YOU!!!

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

2:45 PM

=> .Saturday, November 01, 2008.

NEO BIRTHDAY

In fact yesterday was neo birthday but we plan to celebrate today. We went to Bugis for steamboat and i was kinda late so as was Yiming, Jas and Vivi cuz i'm the one who fetch them which means if i'm late than... lolx. So soon after we reached, we met up with derek, neo and ivy. We do catch up alot as it seems like its been quite long since we last met and gather. At least for now derek know that Batok ppl have high IQ except for Yiming. haha. Alright we end the session at around 11pm and plan to go to partyworld at bishan. Ben than came to fetch Ivy and Vivi to there. Upon reaching , we felt that its a waste of money as the partyworld closed at 1am so we decided to chills at the DOME. We all chat there and separated at around 1am. Ivy and Ben went home, Vivi went on to meet her friends. While the rest follows me to my GF house. We went there to play 'hotel626' . Its a game to test your courage and to scare yourself. Derek was scare. In the end we managed to clear all the 5 stages and after that we left at around 3am. I send them all home and i reached home at around 4.10 am. I was pretty tired as i slept till 12pm and still need to work night shift at 6pm but anyway hope neo do enjoy the celebration. We bought a "PICARD" wallet for neo, hope he like the design as i'm the one who choose. Thats about all , hope to gather out again.

``Life is only worth living once you've found someone worth dying for ``

2:27 PM